mrs.not.so.perfect

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I have been daydreaming about the picture perfect day.  Mine goes something like this:

All the prep work has been done days in advance, and all I have to do is baste the organic, free range turkey that I have NEVER been able to afford in the past.

My children are neat, well-groomed and sit nicely at the table. When they are finished with their meals, they play quietly and kindly in the living room, so the adults can finish their meals in harmony. My three year old eats all his veggies, and my 18 month old doesn’t attempt to re-drywall the ceiling with mashed potatoes.  And if she does, I find the mess THIS year, instead of my insanely clean mother-in-law finding it NEXT year.

My step-children show up on time, exclaim that they are sooooo excited to be here and are delighted to try some new veggie side dishes, because suddenly their picky eater mentality has disappeared. Turns out, they shutter at what their lives were like before me, roasted brussels sprouts and green bean casserole (made without the can of heart stopping grey slime) and would never want to go back.

My husband, after watching the turkey carving video almost 1000 times, manages to PERFECTLY dismember our beautiful, juicy turkey. He also is actually home for Thanksgiving, instead of working at the fire dept.  I also remembered EVERY ingredient so I don’t have to send him across town for poultry seasoning, milk or a frozen pie crust to replace my botched homemade ones.

I am not sweating like a pig from being in the kitchen all day.  My hair isn’t in a frizzy bun on top of my head, but straightened and there is not a single GREY hair to be found. When the table is set with my Versace china, Waterford goblets, and SILVERware, I simply get to untie my vintage apron and sit down with my family. My chic Banana Republic ensemble is stain-free and lacking in soggy armpits because no one needs to know how nervous I am about doing a good job.  Once seated, I don’t have to get up from the table twenty times, to get little things that I have forgotten, and so of course, my meal stays hot and delicious.

While I am eating my HOT meal, we go around the table and say what we’re thankful for, suddenly – each of us has an epiphany!!!  We change our lives for the better, serve humanity, and improve our relationships with each other and God.

I have managed to make enough gravy this year.  Without lumps.

My entire out-of-town family suddenly knocks on the door, surprising me because I am sooooo homesick for them over the holidays.  AND I have enough food, chairs and gravy to accommodate them all.

Somewhere a magical “dishes elf” has come while we were peacefully eating and has done Alllllllllllll the dishes,  AND packed up the leftovers in neat rows in my fridge.  The elf however, leaves a note and says that its okay for me to take the credit for the sparkling clean kitchen he left for me.

My photography skills have instantly become professional grade and our family photo is so good, that I can upload it to tiny prints (for which I downloaded the Groupon, got an insane deal, and remembered to use it BEFORE it expired) and make our Christmas cards EARLY.

Coffee and dessert are served later that night without the pressure of having to camp out at stores for Black Friday.  Because for once, I have already done all the Christmas shopping and for twice, we stayed within budget so we don’t have to stand in line for the best deals.

My in-laws are so overwhelmingly grateful that they volunteer to come up a couple of days early to help with the cooking and cleaning, next year.

And finally,

Everyone feels well-fed, loved and appreciative for all the things they have. 

My Thanksgiving will probably never be this perfect, but hopefully we can achieve this end result all the same.  I hope that everyone who reads this post has a wonderful Thanksgiving with the people they love.  Please, please, please remember the BRAVEST of us, who have forfeited the holidays with their loved ones, to keep us safe.  God Bless the Troops!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Tags: family, holidays, Inspiration, Life, Thanksgiving